Come Back

I haven't written anything substantial here in weeks. That's mainly because I've run out of witty or sarcastic methods of describing the excruciating pain I've endured for the past month. I no longer find anything entertaining about seeing doctor upon doctor, being poked and prodded and having MRI's, x-rays, and various other procedures to help the white coats decide when the surgery is going to be.The pain in my back and leg has been getting worse on a daily basis, to the point where I can barely sit.

What they labeled as "mechanical back trauma" in September has grown steadily into a mind-numbing frenzy of nerve pain that is constantly burning me from lower back to calf. I lost feeling in my right leg Wednesday, rendering it basically useless. This advanced me significantly on the wait list for an MRI, which took place that afternoon.

The results of the MRI showed two slipped and herniated discs and a shattered vertebrae with shards lodged directly in my sciatic, the nerve that runs from hip to toe. Yay.

The nerves in your hand are there to tell you to move your hand from a hot stove. You put your hand on the hot stove and instantly the searing pain encourages you to remove it. But what if you couldn't remove it? What if the hot stove was connected to your hand and your brain just kept telling you to take it off by making that nerve scream constantly? Hefty doses of narcotics are not even taking the edge off at this point.

I must say the commute and general limping about has been harrowing with the three feet of snow we've received in the past week, during which I had to clear off my car with a dirt shovel lest it be towed. That's one thing about having a car in this city -- you have to get one of those collapsible and pocket-sized models. And after living in New England for twenty-seven years, you'd think I'd own a snow shovel.

I don't know what's going to happen. The last thing I need is another surgery right now. I feel like one thing after another is smashing me in the face every time I get back on my feet. Heh. Literally.I'm going to the orthopedic shortly. I'm hoping they can at least find something to numb the pain a little until they put me under the knife. Wish me luck.