Luxx

It’s been raining for FOUR FUCKING WEEKS. This has got to stop. I need to file a complaint, please. I haven’t bitched about the weather yet this year, but here you have it. I’m ready to slit my wrists. And I was thinking of moving to Seattle? Note to self.

Ruby and I play racquetball. On a good week, we hit the court two or three times. We’ve noticed this phenomenon, especially Court C in particular, where the lights are the brightest. A racquetball court is essentially a giant white box – I don’t know the official dimensions but it’s about 20’x30’ and painted shocking white. The fluorescent lights are a million lux so the place is blinding.

When you step into the court, you feel the surge of brightness. Then at the twenty minute point, you enter what we’ve dubbed, “The Adjustment Period.” This is the time during which the perma-grin begins, induced by ultraviolet light and endorphins. We become totally and completely useless.

I have to say, Ruby is one of the funniest people I know. She can make me laugh like no one else. But when we are playing racquetball and I hit The Adjustment Period, I lose control of my limbs and giggle so uncontrollably that I almost lose control of my bladder. We forget whose serve it is. Two seconds after the point is scored, we forget whose point it was. Not that we keep score, but you have to keep track of who just missed the ball in order to continue the game. We can’t do it.

Inspired by the giddiness that comes on in the afterglow of a hearty round of racquetball, I bought one of those Happy Lites®. If you’re unfamiliar, they’re a big board of ultraviolet bulbs that you sit in front of during the wrist-slitting Northern winter months when it’s dark all day and they stimulate your serotonin levels in your brain so you don’t get depressed. You’re supposed to use it at least 20 minutes, twice a day. Which is fine. I could set it up on my desk and write or use my computer. The problem was, after two weeks, my serotonin levels had increased to fever pitch and I couldn’t sit still for 20 minutes.

I might need to pull it out of the closet if these April showers keep up.

Anyway. Back to work.

More to follow if I don’t jump off the BU bridge.