So, I turn ABC's Good Morning, America on every weekday morning first thing. It's the right balance of fluffiness to keep me from starting the day as a coach potato, but enough serious journalism, snippets of local news (plenty of time for that,) and weather to start my mind moving toward the upcoming day. This week, I caught a segment about an online test that predicts the solidity of your relationship. Oh god, I thought to myself, it's one of those stupid Cosmo quizzes a lot of women like.
But, I admit, I'm a sucker for online quizzes. Especially if they're well-designed and FREE, i.e., do NOT require more than anonymous registration.
I know which Smith's Song best represents me, my Myers-Briggs score, which Thundercat AND X-Man I am, what the physical type I'm typically attracted to according to facial recognition, which I took one of those online quizzes.
So, I took the online test from Family DynamicsTM, (musn't forget the Trademark,) called the "Love & Relationships Test." I scored much lower on "Commitment" than I thought fair (would you believe "Just So-So") according to this test from what turned out to be a Christian non-profit organization. A poorly thought-out question tripped me up. Re-reading the question betrays a certain cultural bias behind the test that runs afoul of my Buddhist tendencies. Also, I became suspicious of the "We Can Help You.." links after each scoring section. This screams cult to me. (For information of what's a cult and what's not, and how to tell if you're a member of a cult: I recommend the Web-site www.rickross.org.)
I'm a deeply committed lover. Which brings me to my point. I know who I am. Although I don't mind wasting a little of my mind's auto-pilot on these silly quizzes, I refuse to let my life be ruled by anyone's equation or plan for me. Been there, don't that. It didn't work out. Check's in the mail. Give me mysweater back. Etc. I have spent my life seeking my own heart's equation, and I find this standard, my own, to be the only true test of love & relationships. (Perhaps MY personal bias is showing, now....)
But seriously, do we need a test to know we're in love? Think hard before you answer the question. Life is action. Actions have consequence. If, by the magical algebraic property of substitution love = life, than love has consequences, which are a sort of test. (The real question is, how many re-tests do you let your lover take and vice versa.) Just love. Make mistakes. Love again.
So, I think love is tested all the time, it's just that I don't want to be the tester, nor do I want my partner to be. Nor do I want some organization with a certain agenda to be. Good morning, America, indeed.